After 11 years I'm finally relaxed and comfortable.

I awoke a half hour early this morning, without the usual AAARGH, FUCK YOU!!! that normally accompanies a work related interruption of my beauty sleep.

The morning air smells better than it did last week.

The morning coffee tastes better than it did last week.

That son of a bitch is gone.

Just writing that line, just thinking it isn't enough. That slimy, short arsed, mean spirited cunt who has been the Prime Minister for my entire adult life and that of my friends is finally out of the picture. This will take weeks to set in.

Not that I think Labor is particularly good, but that's still better then inexplicably, irreconcilably reprehensible.

Howard could have been a responsible economic manager without obviously hating the poor. He could have been strong on national security without being George Bush's pathetic, clingy schoolyard patsy.

His was a government of fear. Fear of aboriginals getting too many rights, fear of the poofters getting married, fear of unions. It worked for long enough, but eventually people figure out that the bogey man isn't coming and that they've been lied to.

Howard did nothing to contribute to the resources boom, but he did squander the prosperity. This a time where Australia is in a better position than ever to invest big in solving problems like climate change, a skills shortage shameful living conditions for indigenous people. Instead all we have to show for such a collosal cash loaf is a few plasma TVs and a housing affordability crisis.

We're supposed to be one of the wealthiest countries in the world and enjoying unprecedented economic growth, yet it is now harder for a middle income family to have kids at uni now than it has been for almost 40 years.

I think this is where we're supposed to start applauding the old bastard.

Indeed I am applauding, because he suffered a humiliation on Saturday that he so richly deserved.

Have fun on the golf course, cuntface.

I suppose there is some sort of election type business afoot.

I don't recall ever having been so disinterested in the outcome of a federal election.



This is odd. Three years ago I desperately wanted Labor to win. That was with that lard arsed loose cannon at the helm. Rudd is better than Latham. Howard has been in for another three years and done even worse things than I had expected. My first preference should be irretrievably drawn to Kevin '07, but it isn't for some reason.



I do not like John Howard. I think he's a mean spirited cunt and I don't trust him. John Howard's response to every moral challenge that has landed at his door in the last eleven years has been to make hollow promises about interest rates and to bask in the success of Paul Keating's economic reforms.



His contribution to the war on terror has been to remove troops from Afghanistan (where terrorists were) and put them in Iraq (where there were no terrorists until we invited them).



It is nothing but luck that he was sitting on an ore mine when China decided to get out of bed, take a slash and go shopping.



Kevin Rudd has different problems. I like him, but I think his front bench is weak and incompetent. It is in the back of my mind that despite their good intentions, they will end up hurting more people by accident than the Coalition hurt on purpose.



A Rudd government would have its arse handed to it in question time by the likes of Tony Abbott and Peter Costello.

I will put Labor ahead of Liberal, but I was hoping to put them both so far down that it doesn't matter.

That plan has been thwarted, as the arse end of my ballot paper is reserved for the Democrats, Family First and the Socialist Alliance respectively.

I suppose I will vote for the Greens and give Labor my second preference.
I'm now watching something on Mythbusters about yawning. How appropriate.

Mission

I spent last night in Manchuria.

This is the best place to go in Melbourne for any non beer alcoholic drink. It is also a highly suitable place to go for a beer.

Last night I perused the cocktail menu thinking "What's the hardest thing they've got?'. A drink called the Zombie leapt out from the pages advertising itself as the hardest thing they've got. It showed plenty of promise, being a mix of several types of rum. The house limits consumption of this drink to two per person per night. It had a lot of things to live up to, not least of which was the $25 price tag.

I can say that while it was a pleasant drink, it failed miserably to be the bullet that would do me in. The first sip makes you think something's about to happen, but before too long the bottom of the glass is reached without anything at all happening.

The proof that this drink is a pussy cat can be seen in my feminine company nailing two without raising a sweat.

We can do better. We must do better.

I have made stronger stuff before, a drink called the French Pirate.

This is no component of this mixture that is not alcoholic.

The active ingredient is dark rum. Orange Curocua takes the edge off the rum taste and brut champagne makes it all go straight to your head. If I could find a way to improve the fucking horrible taste, I could be onto a winner. Replacing Captain Morgan with something a hobo couldn't afford would be a good start.