A time to refresh Labor

"There she sits, buttered, used to gleamin' in the sun
There to greet a workin' man when his day is done
I'm gonna pack my Pa and I'm gonna pack my aunt
And take 'em on down to the Cadillac Ranch"

The song "Cadillac Ranch" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band sheds daylight on a little secret.

The common folk don't work overtime at the factory so that they can afford a shiny new hybrid car.

I don't blame them, the cheapest hybrid car available on the Australian market is the Honda Civic Hybrid at $30,000. 30 grand is heaps of money for a car, and even with all I know about global warming I wouldn't bust my arse to make the payments on something that dull.

The hybrid car services what is known as a "Niche market" and is therefore a suitable representation of where the Greens are and where Labor is going.

The Greens seem happy to be a boutique political party and are quite successful in that context. They service a charming little demographic consisting of hippies, homosexuals and doctor's wives. I may even vote for them in the coming SA election (despite not being part of the aforementioned demographic).

Labor is faced with a different situation entirely, they are the alternative federal government and they need to hit the mass market.

They are supposed to be the Ford to the Liberal Holden.

At this time the only mass market card Labour has is industrial relations. That is the only election issue where Labor have a popular position.

It isn't good enough, union membership has been in decline for decades.

Gough Whitlam saw this coming. By the 1970's unionised workers were enjoying unprecedented standards of living. Whitlam knew that worker satisfaction and general prosperity directly threatened the health of unions and with them, the ALP.

Gough, brilliantly saved Labor's bacon with his free tertiary education programme. Because degrees didn't cost anything anymore, no return on investment was required. More people studied unprofitable things like Arts, Education and Social Sciences.

These areas of study had a strong left wing bias and people with degrees in things that aren't profitable soon found a home in Labor's bosom.

Throughout the 1980's Labor did an admirable job of balancing the interests of smart, broke people against those of the blue collars. The two put together were enough to give Labor government in 1983. The Soviet Union hadn't had its arse handed to it yet, so smug academics could still get into bed with the enemy. The anti-success, tall poppy butchering principles of socialism were reasonably in tune with what Aussie common folk were thinking. It was a good time to be a Lefty

In 1989 the Berlin wall came down. There was not, surprisingly, a stampede to get into East Germany. The Socialist experiment was crumbling, and by 1991 it had been stabbed in its heart.

The academic Left had to find a new cause. Fast.

The Earth Summit in Rio occured in 1992, just a year after the Soviet Union got it's arse whupped. That's fast.

Environmental protection, together with multiculturalism became the new political fashion and the unprofitable graduates began their divergence from the working class. It wasn't too bad for a while. The blue collars didn't actively hate the environment, they just weren't interested in saving it.

The fissure became a canyon when unskilled labourers lost their jobs in economic restructing and promptly blamed it on Asians. Paul Keating took sides with the multi-cultis and Labor lost the 1996 election.

And so in 2006 we have the common people not particularly interested in a Civic Hybrid and pounding Lebos in Sydney.

It's crucial for Labor to purge the intelligenstia. These folk represent a tiny segment of the population and have a ready made party with few compromises. Its called The Greens.

Labor can't win on the environment, they need to leave that to the Greens. Heaping shit on the US like Latham did probably won't help as Australian people generally have a positive attitude towards our American cousins.

Labor can rebuild itself but it needs a more complete understanding of its electorate; who they are and what they want.

They probably need to keep the ethnic minorities in the fold to swing a few marginal seats.
They should maintain their position on industrial relations and prey that the common people like their 4 weeks annual leave more than they dislike darkies.

Archives

Below are some of the better posts I've made on old blogs, preserved here for easy reading convenience.

Let the record show the following:

- I still think Ray Martin is a knob
- I'm still in favour of abortion (Ray Martin's mother should have had one)
- I now think Michael Moore is a cunt, and have done since I saw him hassle a cop arriving on
the scene of a homicide in "Bowling for Columbine"
- I no longer smoke weed. I quit because I didn't want to be rejected by the cops for the same
reason I was rejected by Duntroon -Bad Urine. I don't want to be involved in either anymore
but I think I've lost taste for weed permanent-wise


August 7, 2003

No way in hell should it be possible to visit a retarded engineer's blog, follow a link to the NRA and then find Something Useful.

"In societies such as ours, it is unusual for anyone describable as an intellectual to feel a very deep attachment to his own country."Thus Spake George Orwell.Maybe this Australian Identity shit is better discussed by the proles I'll be reluctantly sharing a tute room with tomorrow morning, or maybe even the Corporate proles who I shall have inflicted upon me on Monday evening. It's the lower orders of our society who seem to be the most nauseatingly parochial.

I submit "I want to thank The People for showing their confidence and returning me as the leader of the best country in the world"Thus Dribbled John W Howard

I also remember the appalling "Our Century" series hosted by Ray Martin, a man whose hair is even more wind and fire proof than mine. This was a hideous attempt to try and link 20 million people who hate each other by regurgitating grainy footage of Donald Bradman fellating a cricket bat. Toyota used the opportunity to show how Australian they really were by advertising heavily in the time slot. Channel nine made a killing, fuckwits were entertained, everybody was happy.

I refuse to accept the notion that urban Australians look to their rural cousins for a sense of identity. America may be the only developed country with a greater divide between cosmopolitan coffee drinkers and people who eat roadkill and feel fortunate to do so. We hate rednecks, and they hate us. That's why we storm into their one family towns, drink them dry and fuck off, and that's why they happily cash in on it. We smack down spittle soaked National and One Nation politicians with our urban controlled media and we make sure our South East Asian trading partners see us doing it.

Thankyou Mr Balalaika for a concise and contemptuous summary of what it really means to be Australian."Put on a foreign accent and go ask the people at these shitty monuments about the relevant monument, then heap shit on it and note their rebuttal"Nine times out of ten the Akubra wearing arse gnome in question will get extremely defensive about said monument, even if five minutes ago he was questioning why it was worth such a ridulously long drive just to see an oversized piece of fruit. That has at least one Australian chracteristic hit squarely on the head. The only thing we hate more than our own country is foreigners who criticise it.Fuck you all

September 14, 2003

I hate conservatives.I had an argument with somebody who hates unions, thinks Labour governments waste too much money and wants to cut back welfare- all because her mummy and daddy say so.

She supports Medicare though and here’s why: Her parents are quite rich and probably do have good health insurance, but she has an illness that she doesn’t want her parents to find out about. They can’t fund her trips to the doctor if they don’t know she’s going and she doesn’t have any money of her own, so she has to go to a doctor that bulk bills.

She- like many others of her ilk, has the attitude of “I haven’t had this problem YET, therefore it’s not important, therefore we shouldn’t fund it.”As if this mentality was not bad enough, it tends to belong to people who’ve had sheltered lives. The range of problems they’ve had to deal with and therefore give a fuck about is quite narrow.

I’d be surprised if George Bush cut funding to rehabilitation of alcoholics- after all, he’s a recovering alcoholic himself. He knows the shit people have to go through to give that up. John Howard was hard of hearing when he was a child- so he has personally supported programs that help kids who are hard of hearing.

You all need to read “Stupid White men” by Michael Moore, and particularly the chapter “The People’s Prayer” Here he prays for all the comfortable and powerful to be smitten with every illness known to mankind. We all know that as soon as rich people get problems all resources are devoted to solving them. Nancy Reagan admitted she didn’t start the “Just say no” anti drug campaign until middle class white kids became addicted to drugs. Then it became a real problem. I can add something to Michael Moore’s prayer“Let all who oppose abortion be smitten with pregnant teenage daughters”

Think about it. I refuse to believe that the children of conservatives don’t fuck, just because they’ve been told not to. There’s a good chance they’re going to a private school that teaches abstinence rather than contraception, so they don’t know the first thing about birth control. Conservative parents are certainly not going to have any daughter of theirs on the pill. Whoops! Suddenly the apple of daddy’s eye has a bun in the oven. We all know that keeping up appearances is a big thing for conservatives, so there's no way they would allow their "Friends" to find out they had a teenage mother in the family.

They'd be reaching for the wire hanger faster than you can say "Right wing hypocrisy"

Oct 27, 2003

Man, Never purchase weed from someone you hate and who hates you. The shit I unleashed on myself, Mr Respect and Nixon on Saturday took no prisoners. It was a special kind of skunk found in the northern suburbs of Adelaide called "I'd like to die now" It's designed not for subtlety, but for a corner of the earth so rife with misery and decay that its inhabitants only want to get stoned quickly and stay that way.

I awoke on Sunday morning feeling like the unwashed scrotum of humanity. This may have also been due to the many litres of alcohol we consumed, leaving a mess reminiscent of Dresden in Respect's backyard. Respect was the worse for wear, having to do something highly Corporate and vaguely useful the next day. I at least had the pleasure of drowing in my horriblitude for another few hours before deciding to rejoin the human race.My apalling odour was just the thing for spiting hordes of rugby fans on the way home to my semi rural enclave.

November 5, 2003

A matter remains unaddressed.

The Monday of Terror involving Nixon and myself has yet to be broadcast to you all. Upon learning some truly horrible news, the decision was made to kill the part of our brains that the news occupied. And so began the consumption of Ones, funded by the Corporate dollar and on Corporate premises. We quickly relocated to another spot of horror, under a bridge by the river. Here we sat and consumed more Ones while kickin' back, smokin' a cigar and listenin' to beats. This was accompanied by the sound of cars rumbling over our heads. With much echo, the sound was reminiscent of Iraqi AA guns firing in the distance.

Soon enough we began to shake fists and abuse passers by, assuring them that their children would turn out just like us, only in a world less likely to tolerate it and there was nothing they could do about it. That and bouts of public urination brought on the constabulary.Two of Adelaide's finest, each wielding an attack dog large enough to finish the pair of us in a single gulp, were sadly unable to attach us to an illegal act. It was quite amusing to see this dedicated killing machine behaving in such a flaccid manner. Totally immobilised by our civil liberties (And our awareness of same), the two gentlemen reluctantly let us be.

Another change of venue saw us in the Adelaide Uni Bar, attending a crowded Triple J broadcast. It seems that primary school children are colonising our fair city. Last Friday, you'll recall, there were a group of them up for a game of "Girl, you'll be a woman soon" at Enigma. On Monday there were more baby teeth than the mind could fathom. Baby teeth waiting to be dislodged by the a peadophile's high pressure spray of man-sauce. After shouting profanity at Mel and Charlie from a distance of only a few feet, we motivated out of there and into an ambush. Corporates. Some from the meeting Nixon had just blown off, another from the meeting I was about to snub. Amazingly, we escaped intact and proceeded to Nixon's dwelling, where the atrocities continued.We ingested more booze, smoked weed and took a trip while watching Fear and Loathing. Then came the part that Nixon was convinced would be the end of me. Watching "The Wall" while ripped on acid. The following morning we played Baptist music in a futile attempt to redeem ourselves.While I survived that onslaught, I'm deeply concerned about the long term impact it will have on me. I could become clinically depressed, maybe I'll start hating things. I might even start to have difficulty relating to people in a polite, focused and friendly manner.Oh shit, too late.

Fuck you all.

Friday, November 28, 2003

Gentlemen,I saw the world from a different perspective this morning,The perspective of pure hobo scum.Residents of Clovelly Park had the privilege of being apalled at the sight of me. I was staggering along South Road nursing a monstrosity of a hangover (With matching injuries), sporting a three day growth and clad in blood stained trousers.

I needed to find somewhere I could get a note changed, so I could get onto a bus and make my meeting on time. The reception I got in the several shops from which I tried to acquire "The Age" was varied. In a supermarket and service station the air of contempt was immediately obvious. They didn't want my kind anywhere near their merchandise, their customers, or them. Maybe I looked as if I was from a gang, like the ones apparently terrorising the Southern Suburbs of Adelaide.

After giving up on the idea of finding a good newspaper on that blue collar strip, I encountered a fish and chip shop owner, who looked very sympathetic and compassionate and changed my note.I was met with great suspicion by the bus driver, who sneered at me- but let me onto the bus out of pure obligation. Other passengers looked sorry for me. I expected at some point to be tossed a few coins, for I looked that destitute.Hmmm........Maybe I should have begged for the price of a bus ticket all along.

December 30, 2003

Curse you non blogging miscreants.The death toll for the Iran earthquake is now at 25,000. It's already the most deadly earthquake since 1990, where 40,000 people were killed (Also in Iran). If it hits 50,000- as expected it will surpass every tremor since 1976 where half a million were killed in China.

Let's stick with 50,000. In mere terms of loss of life this represents about 15 world trade centre attacks. Happening simultaneously in around the same time as it took the twin towers to collapse.The difference?Who the hell can the Iranians come after, even if they did have the means to do it? Where can they possibly direct their rage? On September 11th, 2001 the bullshit started in earnest for the US. On December 26th, 2003- In Iran the bullshit largely stopped.The conservative clerics have quietly set aside religious objections to sniffer dogs in order to let in crack European rescue teams.

No politicians comitting the country to war, restricting immigration or using the opportunity to impose a draconian set of "Security laws"They have no choice but to-eventually- accept what has happened. It's happened before and will probably happen again, theres nothing they can do about it but rebuild.

Another interesting idea- Disasters on this scale polarise humanity.On one hand there are people falling over themselves to help out. A blood bank in Tehran has been overwhelmed with donors. Aid has been flooding in from all over the globe- probably with political motivation, but urgently needed nonetheless.On the other, there have been reports of armed looters from surrounding towns pilfering whatever aid was left after corrupt officials filled their pockets. Precious little is getting through to those in the most urgent need.

What's The Corporation doing to help? How much impact is "The power of exchange" having here? Fuck all on both counts.

The Left have no business in a mosque.

"I'm a conservative-- I'm not entirely on board with the Islamist program when it comes to beheading sodomites and so on, but I agree Britney Spears dresses like a slut: I'm with Mullah Omar on that one."

The above links to an outstanding article by Mark Steyn. In it he raises several issues, focused on the Islamification of Western Europe. The jist of it is that they're having not nearly enough babies and admitting entirely too many North Africans to cover the shortfall.

Also, their social welfare systems will crumble as they have too many people drawing on them with not enough tax payers to finance it.

This is all familiar as conservative sentiment and it's generally true.

Elsewhere in the article Mr Steyn highlights something that's both fascinating and immediately obvious: Muslims are socially conservative.

In Holland there has been a call from within Islamic communities to ban homosexuals from teaching in public schools. Pim Fortuyn criticised this among other things and was rubbed out for his trouble. I'll wager that social progressives lobbied for decades to get gay teachers into public schools, yet a gay sociology lecturer who wants to protect these gains from conservative Islam is considered "Right wing", or even "Far right".

Cultural sensitivity has been taken too far. It's been taken to the point where the social progressives who normally promote it end up apologising for cultures and for people who are not their friends.

You name the issue, and I'll bet that Muslims and the western Left lock horns on it;

The only time you see fundamentalist Islam advocating abortion is when unborn babies are killed by suicide bombs.

No middle Eastern countries that I'm aware of have a cradle-to-grave welfare system (Except maybe Israel, and you know why Israel doesn't count)

The Palestinians I've seen on TV seem very much in favour of universal firearms ownership.

If the two are so fundamentally opposed, why then does the Left like to snuggle up to the camel riding fellows?

It's because they are allies of convenience. They both hate the US.

Every single issue that social progressives have pursued in their history - from civil rights to environmental protection - suddenly takes a back seat to their sour grapes at the world's most powerful nation.

It doesn't matter that the US has given its own progressive citizens more or less everything they have asked for, because that's not how political fashion works. Progressive taxation is so last century.

The Left are acting like spoiled children: Spiteful, rebellious and ungrateful.

It's time they grew up.