Archives
Below are some of the better posts I've made on old blogs, preserved here for easy reading convenience.
Let the record show the following:
- I still think Ray Martin is a knob
- I'm still in favour of abortion (Ray Martin's mother should have had one)
- I now think Michael Moore is a cunt, and have done since I saw him hassle a cop arriving on
the scene of a homicide in "Bowling for Columbine"
- I no longer smoke weed. I quit because I didn't want to be rejected by the cops for the same
reason I was rejected by Duntroon -Bad Urine. I don't want to be involved in either anymore
but I think I've lost taste for weed permanent-wise
August 7, 2003
No way in hell should it be possible to visit a retarded engineer's blog, follow a link to the NRA and then find Something Useful.
"In societies such as ours, it is unusual for anyone describable as an intellectual to feel a very deep attachment to his own country."Thus Spake George Orwell.Maybe this Australian Identity shit is better discussed by the proles I'll be reluctantly sharing a tute room with tomorrow morning, or maybe even the Corporate proles who I shall have inflicted upon me on Monday evening. It's the lower orders of our society who seem to be the most nauseatingly parochial.
I submit "I want to thank The People for showing their confidence and returning me as the leader of the best country in the world"Thus Dribbled John W Howard
I also remember the appalling "Our Century" series hosted by Ray Martin, a man whose hair is even more wind and fire proof than mine. This was a hideous attempt to try and link 20 million people who hate each other by regurgitating grainy footage of Donald Bradman fellating a cricket bat. Toyota used the opportunity to show how Australian they really were by advertising heavily in the time slot. Channel nine made a killing, fuckwits were entertained, everybody was happy.
I refuse to accept the notion that urban Australians look to their rural cousins for a sense of identity. America may be the only developed country with a greater divide between cosmopolitan coffee drinkers and people who eat roadkill and feel fortunate to do so. We hate rednecks, and they hate us. That's why we storm into their one family towns, drink them dry and fuck off, and that's why they happily cash in on it. We smack down spittle soaked National and One Nation politicians with our urban controlled media and we make sure our South East Asian trading partners see us doing it.
Thankyou Mr Balalaika for a concise and contemptuous summary of what it really means to be Australian."Put on a foreign accent and go ask the people at these shitty monuments about the relevant monument, then heap shit on it and note their rebuttal"Nine times out of ten the Akubra wearing arse gnome in question will get extremely defensive about said monument, even if five minutes ago he was questioning why it was worth such a ridulously long drive just to see an oversized piece of fruit. That has at least one Australian chracteristic hit squarely on the head. The only thing we hate more than our own country is foreigners who criticise it.Fuck you all
September 14, 2003
I hate conservatives.I had an argument with somebody who hates unions, thinks Labour governments waste too much money and wants to cut back welfare- all because her mummy and daddy say so.
She supports Medicare though and here’s why: Her parents are quite rich and probably do have good health insurance, but she has an illness that she doesn’t want her parents to find out about. They can’t fund her trips to the doctor if they don’t know she’s going and she doesn’t have any money of her own, so she has to go to a doctor that bulk bills.
She- like many others of her ilk, has the attitude of “I haven’t had this problem YET, therefore it’s not important, therefore we shouldn’t fund it.”As if this mentality was not bad enough, it tends to belong to people who’ve had sheltered lives. The range of problems they’ve had to deal with and therefore give a fuck about is quite narrow.
I’d be surprised if George Bush cut funding to rehabilitation of alcoholics- after all, he’s a recovering alcoholic himself. He knows the shit people have to go through to give that up. John Howard was hard of hearing when he was a child- so he has personally supported programs that help kids who are hard of hearing.
You all need to read “Stupid White men” by Michael Moore, and particularly the chapter “The People’s Prayer” Here he prays for all the comfortable and powerful to be smitten with every illness known to mankind. We all know that as soon as rich people get problems all resources are devoted to solving them. Nancy Reagan admitted she didn’t start the “Just say no” anti drug campaign until middle class white kids became addicted to drugs. Then it became a real problem. I can add something to Michael Moore’s prayer“Let all who oppose abortion be smitten with pregnant teenage daughters”
Think about it. I refuse to believe that the children of conservatives don’t fuck, just because they’ve been told not to. There’s a good chance they’re going to a private school that teaches abstinence rather than contraception, so they don’t know the first thing about birth control. Conservative parents are certainly not going to have any daughter of theirs on the pill. Whoops! Suddenly the apple of daddy’s eye has a bun in the oven. We all know that keeping up appearances is a big thing for conservatives, so there's no way they would allow their "Friends" to find out they had a teenage mother in the family.
They'd be reaching for the wire hanger faster than you can say "Right wing hypocrisy"
Oct 27, 2003
Man, Never purchase weed from someone you hate and who hates you. The shit I unleashed on myself, Mr Respect and Nixon on Saturday took no prisoners. It was a special kind of skunk found in the northern suburbs of Adelaide called "I'd like to die now" It's designed not for subtlety, but for a corner of the earth so rife with misery and decay that its inhabitants only want to get stoned quickly and stay that way.
I awoke on Sunday morning feeling like the unwashed scrotum of humanity. This may have also been due to the many litres of alcohol we consumed, leaving a mess reminiscent of Dresden in Respect's backyard. Respect was the worse for wear, having to do something highly Corporate and vaguely useful the next day. I at least had the pleasure of drowing in my horriblitude for another few hours before deciding to rejoin the human race.My apalling odour was just the thing for spiting hordes of rugby fans on the way home to my semi rural enclave.
November 5, 2003
A matter remains unaddressed.
The Monday of Terror involving Nixon and myself has yet to be broadcast to you all. Upon learning some truly horrible news, the decision was made to kill the part of our brains that the news occupied. And so began the consumption of Ones, funded by the Corporate dollar and on Corporate premises. We quickly relocated to another spot of horror, under a bridge by the river. Here we sat and consumed more Ones while kickin' back, smokin' a cigar and listenin' to beats. This was accompanied by the sound of cars rumbling over our heads. With much echo, the sound was reminiscent of Iraqi AA guns firing in the distance.
Soon enough we began to shake fists and abuse passers by, assuring them that their children would turn out just like us, only in a world less likely to tolerate it and there was nothing they could do about it. That and bouts of public urination brought on the constabulary.Two of Adelaide's finest, each wielding an attack dog large enough to finish the pair of us in a single gulp, were sadly unable to attach us to an illegal act. It was quite amusing to see this dedicated killing machine behaving in such a flaccid manner. Totally immobilised by our civil liberties (And our awareness of same), the two gentlemen reluctantly let us be.
Another change of venue saw us in the Adelaide Uni Bar, attending a crowded Triple J broadcast. It seems that primary school children are colonising our fair city. Last Friday, you'll recall, there were a group of them up for a game of "Girl, you'll be a woman soon" at Enigma. On Monday there were more baby teeth than the mind could fathom. Baby teeth waiting to be dislodged by the a peadophile's high pressure spray of man-sauce. After shouting profanity at Mel and Charlie from a distance of only a few feet, we motivated out of there and into an ambush. Corporates. Some from the meeting Nixon had just blown off, another from the meeting I was about to snub. Amazingly, we escaped intact and proceeded to Nixon's dwelling, where the atrocities continued.We ingested more booze, smoked weed and took a trip while watching Fear and Loathing. Then came the part that Nixon was convinced would be the end of me. Watching "The Wall" while ripped on acid. The following morning we played Baptist music in a futile attempt to redeem ourselves.While I survived that onslaught, I'm deeply concerned about the long term impact it will have on me. I could become clinically depressed, maybe I'll start hating things. I might even start to have difficulty relating to people in a polite, focused and friendly manner.Oh shit, too late.
Fuck you all.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Gentlemen,I saw the world from a different perspective this morning,The perspective of pure hobo scum.Residents of Clovelly Park had the privilege of being apalled at the sight of me. I was staggering along South Road nursing a monstrosity of a hangover (With matching injuries), sporting a three day growth and clad in blood stained trousers.
I needed to find somewhere I could get a note changed, so I could get onto a bus and make my meeting on time. The reception I got in the several shops from which I tried to acquire "The Age" was varied. In a supermarket and service station the air of contempt was immediately obvious. They didn't want my kind anywhere near their merchandise, their customers, or them. Maybe I looked as if I was from a gang, like the ones apparently terrorising the Southern Suburbs of Adelaide.
After giving up on the idea of finding a good newspaper on that blue collar strip, I encountered a fish and chip shop owner, who looked very sympathetic and compassionate and changed my note.I was met with great suspicion by the bus driver, who sneered at me- but let me onto the bus out of pure obligation. Other passengers looked sorry for me. I expected at some point to be tossed a few coins, for I looked that destitute.Hmmm........Maybe I should have begged for the price of a bus ticket all along.
December 30, 2003
Curse you non blogging miscreants.The death toll for the Iran earthquake is now at 25,000. It's already the most deadly earthquake since 1990, where 40,000 people were killed (Also in Iran). If it hits 50,000- as expected it will surpass every tremor since 1976 where half a million were killed in China.
Let's stick with 50,000. In mere terms of loss of life this represents about 15 world trade centre attacks. Happening simultaneously in around the same time as it took the twin towers to collapse.The difference?Who the hell can the Iranians come after, even if they did have the means to do it? Where can they possibly direct their rage? On September 11th, 2001 the bullshit started in earnest for the US. On December 26th, 2003- In Iran the bullshit largely stopped.The conservative clerics have quietly set aside religious objections to sniffer dogs in order to let in crack European rescue teams.
No politicians comitting the country to war, restricting immigration or using the opportunity to impose a draconian set of "Security laws"They have no choice but to-eventually- accept what has happened. It's happened before and will probably happen again, theres nothing they can do about it but rebuild.
Another interesting idea- Disasters on this scale polarise humanity.On one hand there are people falling over themselves to help out. A blood bank in Tehran has been overwhelmed with donors. Aid has been flooding in from all over the globe- probably with political motivation, but urgently needed nonetheless.On the other, there have been reports of armed looters from surrounding towns pilfering whatever aid was left after corrupt officials filled their pockets. Precious little is getting through to those in the most urgent need.
What's The Corporation doing to help? How much impact is "The power of exchange" having here? Fuck all on both counts.
Let the record show the following:
- I still think Ray Martin is a knob
- I'm still in favour of abortion (Ray Martin's mother should have had one)
- I now think Michael Moore is a cunt, and have done since I saw him hassle a cop arriving on
the scene of a homicide in "Bowling for Columbine"
- I no longer smoke weed. I quit because I didn't want to be rejected by the cops for the same
reason I was rejected by Duntroon -Bad Urine. I don't want to be involved in either anymore
but I think I've lost taste for weed permanent-wise
August 7, 2003
No way in hell should it be possible to visit a retarded engineer's blog, follow a link to the NRA and then find Something Useful.
"In societies such as ours, it is unusual for anyone describable as an intellectual to feel a very deep attachment to his own country."Thus Spake George Orwell.Maybe this Australian Identity shit is better discussed by the proles I'll be reluctantly sharing a tute room with tomorrow morning, or maybe even the Corporate proles who I shall have inflicted upon me on Monday evening. It's the lower orders of our society who seem to be the most nauseatingly parochial.
I submit "I want to thank The People for showing their confidence and returning me as the leader of the best country in the world"Thus Dribbled John W Howard
I also remember the appalling "Our Century" series hosted by Ray Martin, a man whose hair is even more wind and fire proof than mine. This was a hideous attempt to try and link 20 million people who hate each other by regurgitating grainy footage of Donald Bradman fellating a cricket bat. Toyota used the opportunity to show how Australian they really were by advertising heavily in the time slot. Channel nine made a killing, fuckwits were entertained, everybody was happy.
I refuse to accept the notion that urban Australians look to their rural cousins for a sense of identity. America may be the only developed country with a greater divide between cosmopolitan coffee drinkers and people who eat roadkill and feel fortunate to do so. We hate rednecks, and they hate us. That's why we storm into their one family towns, drink them dry and fuck off, and that's why they happily cash in on it. We smack down spittle soaked National and One Nation politicians with our urban controlled media and we make sure our South East Asian trading partners see us doing it.
Thankyou Mr Balalaika for a concise and contemptuous summary of what it really means to be Australian."Put on a foreign accent and go ask the people at these shitty monuments about the relevant monument, then heap shit on it and note their rebuttal"Nine times out of ten the Akubra wearing arse gnome in question will get extremely defensive about said monument, even if five minutes ago he was questioning why it was worth such a ridulously long drive just to see an oversized piece of fruit. That has at least one Australian chracteristic hit squarely on the head. The only thing we hate more than our own country is foreigners who criticise it.Fuck you all
September 14, 2003
I hate conservatives.I had an argument with somebody who hates unions, thinks Labour governments waste too much money and wants to cut back welfare- all because her mummy and daddy say so.
She supports Medicare though and here’s why: Her parents are quite rich and probably do have good health insurance, but she has an illness that she doesn’t want her parents to find out about. They can’t fund her trips to the doctor if they don’t know she’s going and she doesn’t have any money of her own, so she has to go to a doctor that bulk bills.
She- like many others of her ilk, has the attitude of “I haven’t had this problem YET, therefore it’s not important, therefore we shouldn’t fund it.”As if this mentality was not bad enough, it tends to belong to people who’ve had sheltered lives. The range of problems they’ve had to deal with and therefore give a fuck about is quite narrow.
I’d be surprised if George Bush cut funding to rehabilitation of alcoholics- after all, he’s a recovering alcoholic himself. He knows the shit people have to go through to give that up. John Howard was hard of hearing when he was a child- so he has personally supported programs that help kids who are hard of hearing.
You all need to read “Stupid White men” by Michael Moore, and particularly the chapter “The People’s Prayer” Here he prays for all the comfortable and powerful to be smitten with every illness known to mankind. We all know that as soon as rich people get problems all resources are devoted to solving them. Nancy Reagan admitted she didn’t start the “Just say no” anti drug campaign until middle class white kids became addicted to drugs. Then it became a real problem. I can add something to Michael Moore’s prayer“Let all who oppose abortion be smitten with pregnant teenage daughters”
Think about it. I refuse to believe that the children of conservatives don’t fuck, just because they’ve been told not to. There’s a good chance they’re going to a private school that teaches abstinence rather than contraception, so they don’t know the first thing about birth control. Conservative parents are certainly not going to have any daughter of theirs on the pill. Whoops! Suddenly the apple of daddy’s eye has a bun in the oven. We all know that keeping up appearances is a big thing for conservatives, so there's no way they would allow their "Friends" to find out they had a teenage mother in the family.
They'd be reaching for the wire hanger faster than you can say "Right wing hypocrisy"
Oct 27, 2003
Man, Never purchase weed from someone you hate and who hates you. The shit I unleashed on myself, Mr Respect and Nixon on Saturday took no prisoners. It was a special kind of skunk found in the northern suburbs of Adelaide called "I'd like to die now" It's designed not for subtlety, but for a corner of the earth so rife with misery and decay that its inhabitants only want to get stoned quickly and stay that way.
I awoke on Sunday morning feeling like the unwashed scrotum of humanity. This may have also been due to the many litres of alcohol we consumed, leaving a mess reminiscent of Dresden in Respect's backyard. Respect was the worse for wear, having to do something highly Corporate and vaguely useful the next day. I at least had the pleasure of drowing in my horriblitude for another few hours before deciding to rejoin the human race.My apalling odour was just the thing for spiting hordes of rugby fans on the way home to my semi rural enclave.
November 5, 2003
A matter remains unaddressed.
The Monday of Terror involving Nixon and myself has yet to be broadcast to you all. Upon learning some truly horrible news, the decision was made to kill the part of our brains that the news occupied. And so began the consumption of Ones, funded by the Corporate dollar and on Corporate premises. We quickly relocated to another spot of horror, under a bridge by the river. Here we sat and consumed more Ones while kickin' back, smokin' a cigar and listenin' to beats. This was accompanied by the sound of cars rumbling over our heads. With much echo, the sound was reminiscent of Iraqi AA guns firing in the distance.
Soon enough we began to shake fists and abuse passers by, assuring them that their children would turn out just like us, only in a world less likely to tolerate it and there was nothing they could do about it. That and bouts of public urination brought on the constabulary.Two of Adelaide's finest, each wielding an attack dog large enough to finish the pair of us in a single gulp, were sadly unable to attach us to an illegal act. It was quite amusing to see this dedicated killing machine behaving in such a flaccid manner. Totally immobilised by our civil liberties (And our awareness of same), the two gentlemen reluctantly let us be.
Another change of venue saw us in the Adelaide Uni Bar, attending a crowded Triple J broadcast. It seems that primary school children are colonising our fair city. Last Friday, you'll recall, there were a group of them up for a game of "Girl, you'll be a woman soon" at Enigma. On Monday there were more baby teeth than the mind could fathom. Baby teeth waiting to be dislodged by the a peadophile's high pressure spray of man-sauce. After shouting profanity at Mel and Charlie from a distance of only a few feet, we motivated out of there and into an ambush. Corporates. Some from the meeting Nixon had just blown off, another from the meeting I was about to snub. Amazingly, we escaped intact and proceeded to Nixon's dwelling, where the atrocities continued.We ingested more booze, smoked weed and took a trip while watching Fear and Loathing. Then came the part that Nixon was convinced would be the end of me. Watching "The Wall" while ripped on acid. The following morning we played Baptist music in a futile attempt to redeem ourselves.While I survived that onslaught, I'm deeply concerned about the long term impact it will have on me. I could become clinically depressed, maybe I'll start hating things. I might even start to have difficulty relating to people in a polite, focused and friendly manner.Oh shit, too late.
Fuck you all.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Gentlemen,I saw the world from a different perspective this morning,The perspective of pure hobo scum.Residents of Clovelly Park had the privilege of being apalled at the sight of me. I was staggering along South Road nursing a monstrosity of a hangover (With matching injuries), sporting a three day growth and clad in blood stained trousers.
I needed to find somewhere I could get a note changed, so I could get onto a bus and make my meeting on time. The reception I got in the several shops from which I tried to acquire "The Age" was varied. In a supermarket and service station the air of contempt was immediately obvious. They didn't want my kind anywhere near their merchandise, their customers, or them. Maybe I looked as if I was from a gang, like the ones apparently terrorising the Southern Suburbs of Adelaide.
After giving up on the idea of finding a good newspaper on that blue collar strip, I encountered a fish and chip shop owner, who looked very sympathetic and compassionate and changed my note.I was met with great suspicion by the bus driver, who sneered at me- but let me onto the bus out of pure obligation. Other passengers looked sorry for me. I expected at some point to be tossed a few coins, for I looked that destitute.Hmmm........Maybe I should have begged for the price of a bus ticket all along.
December 30, 2003
Curse you non blogging miscreants.The death toll for the Iran earthquake is now at 25,000. It's already the most deadly earthquake since 1990, where 40,000 people were killed (Also in Iran). If it hits 50,000- as expected it will surpass every tremor since 1976 where half a million were killed in China.
Let's stick with 50,000. In mere terms of loss of life this represents about 15 world trade centre attacks. Happening simultaneously in around the same time as it took the twin towers to collapse.The difference?Who the hell can the Iranians come after, even if they did have the means to do it? Where can they possibly direct their rage? On September 11th, 2001 the bullshit started in earnest for the US. On December 26th, 2003- In Iran the bullshit largely stopped.The conservative clerics have quietly set aside religious objections to sniffer dogs in order to let in crack European rescue teams.
No politicians comitting the country to war, restricting immigration or using the opportunity to impose a draconian set of "Security laws"They have no choice but to-eventually- accept what has happened. It's happened before and will probably happen again, theres nothing they can do about it but rebuild.
Another interesting idea- Disasters on this scale polarise humanity.On one hand there are people falling over themselves to help out. A blood bank in Tehran has been overwhelmed with donors. Aid has been flooding in from all over the globe- probably with political motivation, but urgently needed nonetheless.On the other, there have been reports of armed looters from surrounding towns pilfering whatever aid was left after corrupt officials filled their pockets. Precious little is getting through to those in the most urgent need.
What's The Corporation doing to help? How much impact is "The power of exchange" having here? Fuck all on both counts.
posted by Mr Schrempp @ 9:22 pm
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